Q: How come, despite my attempts to be a perfect gentleman, I get no loving from the ladies? All I want is a person to spend time with a provide a constant source of cuddling, but I have come up short for quite a long time. Any advice?

-- Rory

A: Since my readers don't know who you are, I will conveniently link to a photo. I agree that you are a perfect gentleman, which leads me to a reasonable conclusion... cut your hair and shave the scruffy. And yeah... too much metal in the mouth! I believe that by at least trying a bit of that advice will increase your desireablity more than you would think. In fact... I may just chop your hair when you're not looking next time I see you, since you're too nice to hate me for it. You said so yourself!